When it comes to tears

It has happened to me several times: tears. No matter what's the reason, it was always surprising and always the question of how to react. Per my negligible experience, you have to calm down the emotions first, for me worked handing out some napkins or a simple hug. No matter what you think, you are nor a psychologist, neither a psychiatrist. Whenever it's outside your expectations, recommend a certified expert. The first question is before the particular meeting is: are you expecting a tuff discussion? You can expect tears, put extra effort into preparation. The first time, I was shocked, but I shouldn't be. An engineer, who had specific issues with fitting into the team while he was in the probation period, figured out he's not welcomed in the team. I have to admit this was an unpleasant surprise to me, and I didn't handle that well. The second time, it came as a bolt from the blue. An engineer who was delivering the expected value and was a good part of the team suddenly shared his concerns about his performance and linked that to personal issues he was going through. I was at least able to give him a napkin, which served as an ice breaker. We have longly discussed what's going on, and I've recommended visiting a professional. It's not to terrify anyone. If you are considering a manager's role, you should become a trusted one. When you become a trusted one, people will share their pains. It has happened to me several times: tears. No matter what's the reason, it was always surprising and always the question of how to react. Per my negligible experience, you have to calm down the emotions first, for me worked handing out some napkins or a simple hug. No matter what you think, you are nor a psychologist, neither a psychiatrist. Whenever it's outside your expectations, recommend a certified expert. The first question is before the particular meeting is: are you expecting a tuff discussion? You can expect tears, put extra effort into preparation. The first time, I was shocked, but I shouldn't be. An engineer, who had specific issues with fitting into the team while he was in the probation period, figured out he's not welcomed in the team. I have to admit this was an unpleasant surprise to me, and I didn't handle that well. The second time, it came as a bolt from the blue. An engineer who was delivering the expected value and was a good part of the team suddenly shared his concerns about his performance and linked that to personal issues he was going through. I was at least able to give him a napkin, which served as an ice breaker. We have longly discussed what's going on, and I've recommended visiting a professional. It's not to terrify anyone. If you are considering a manager's role, you should become a trusted one. When you become a trusted one, people will share their pains.